Show not tell.

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How can you tell what Elsa and Anna are feeling?

Think about:
* What do they look like?
* What are they doing?
* How are they doing it?

Today we have practised writing sentences where we show the reader what the character is feeling, rather than telling them.

For example, instead of: ‘Anna felt happy’, we can write ‘Anna skipped along merrily, her pigtails bobbing behind her. A huge beam was plastered to her face and her eyes twinkled brightly in the radiant sunshine’.

Class 7 have edited the sentences below to show rather than tell and left them as comments on this blog post. What do you think of them?

  1. Anna was happy.
  2. Anna was scared.
  3. Elsa was furious.
  4. Elsa began to cry.
Comments
  • Bree and Chloe says:

    You have come up with some good discreptive words well done

  • amber and sophie says:

    ANNA’S PINK NOSE IS AS PINK AS A PIG.

  • Sophie says:

    Elsa’s rosy, pink nose had freezing, cold tears dropping from her light, blue eyes with sadness. She froze Anna with her icy, cold powers in shock but she didn’t mean it. Everyone in her village was looking at Elsa’s wet tears as she cried sorrowfully. Elsa just lay there crying while she watched Anna stand there in beauty. While Elsa was lay down crying Anna slowly started to come back to life and unfreeze. Looking at Elsa she looks like she is going to run away she was that guilty.

    • Miss Young says:

      Sophie, this is incredible writing! Thank you so much for sharing it with us.

    • ETHAN says:

      Great sentences Sophie.
      I really like how you have described her eyes and tears

  • Mrs Sarginson says:

    Great use of a simile to describe her smile. Well done girls.

  • Sophie and Hayley says:

    Anna’s swishing, beautiful hair bounced up and down while she skipped gracefully! Her smile was wide and she was showing her pearly white teeth. Her eyes are gleaming with wonder and joy! She has rosy, red cheeks that glow in the sunshine.

    • Mrs Sarginson says:

      I love how you describe her skipping gracefully. A great word choice to describe how a princess moves.

  • Harley, dan,blake says:

    Her smile is bright, lovely and pink. Elsa glides everywhere she goes and she grins happily to the people in the village.

    • Mrs Sarginson says:

      Well done Harley I like how you use the word bright to describe her smile. It tells me she lights up the places she goes. Perhaps think of way to show the reader that Anna grins happily at everyone.

  • Remi, Sienna says:

    Elsa’s hands and face were freezing. Her cold, salty tears dropped down from her blue, glittering eyes.

    • Mrs Sarginson says:

      Well done Remi your description of Anna crying is great. I can just imagine her tears freezing on her cheeks!

  • Ethan and victoria says:

    Elsa drew up her ice powers angrily.Elsa’s powers were shining like gold. Her red , furious face was boiling hot

    • Mrs Sarginson says:

      Great work Victoria and Ethan.
      She was obviously very angry. I now want to know why?

  • Amber and Jaiden says:

    Elsas frozen tears driped from her blue, glistening eyes.

    • Mrs Sarginson says:

      I like the choice of glistening it reminds me of sparkling jewels. Please remember to check your spellings before you publish your work online.

  • Millianne and EIIie says:

    Anna’s smile was as bright as the sun.

  • Mia, Dylan and Nathan says:

    Anna was skipping along merrily ,her swishing hair swayed in the breeze.

    • Miss Young says:

      I love the adverb ‘merrily’. Could you describe how her face looked?

  • Kirsten and Josh says:

    Elsa’s cold tears dropped down her freezing face. Elsa was stroking Anna’s cold face. Elsa had a dribbling nose.

  • Ella and Ryan says:

    Her smile was bright and beaming as the sun.she was dancing around the ice with glee.